I Dream of Goren
by SuperCellist
Summary: Yeah, I'm back. My first CI story. Bobby is hot and Alex knows it.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I don't own anything or anyone (Dick Wolf is afraid that Mr. D'Onofrio wouldn't want to leave me after I've had my way with him). Though I do LOVE the new Goren, (may all who make bad comments about his weight catch an incurable strain of the plague), I haven't seen enough of him to write for him, so I'm using the earlier Goren: seasons 1, 2, and 3 all mashed together. Enjoy!

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I Dream of Goren

Some days, Alexandra Eames wished she wasn't a woman.

The days when that which was in her line of vision was so unbelievably…distracting, she thought it was a miracle she got any work done. The days when she daydreamed like she hadn't since she was 12. The days when…

Well, the days when her partner, Detective Robert Goren, looked hot.

Okay, wait. Hold on. He was hot every day. But once in a while, for no apparent reason, she almost couldn't take it. Like today.

Alex rubbed her eyes in annoyance. She was trying to squeeze out of her mind the thought of Bobby walking into the precinct that morning and sitting down at his desk, smiling about something. It was then she knew it was going to be one of those days.

"Oh, nothing," he'd said when he caught her staring, answering the question he knew she would ask. Looked at her for a few more seconds, then turned his attention to the mess of paperwork on his desk.

She could not blank out the flash of straight, white teeth she'd caught when he turned his smile to her. It was at that moment that a bustle of movement across from her caught her eye. She looked up to see that Bobby had slapped the file he was reading on his desk and had gotten up to stare thoughtfully (and a bit exasperatingly) out the window.

She loved the way he filled whatever frame he happened to be in, or near. His broad shoulders almost touched both sides of it. His own frame, long and lean, was enough to cause her to blush with delight, especially when he stood with his back to her (as he was doing now), his dress shirt stretched taut over his powerful back as he folded his arms across his chest and rested his chin on one palm. Dangerous is the vision of a well-muscled man without his suit jacket.

_Eames! Get your ass back to work!_ She scolded herself. _You are paid to serve and protect the citizens of New York City, not stare at Bobby Goren all day._

She sighed and took out the crime scene photos of the file nearest to her. This was the only way to take her mind of her partner: try to contemplate the death and horror of a cold-blooded murder. Her eyes traveled over the blood, the mangled body, the dead man's eyes staring fearfully, wide open. She felt a knot in her throat, a tear in her eyes. Swallowing forcefully, she went to stand next to Bobby at the window.

"Lincoln case?" he asked knowingly, without looking at her.

She nodded, picking at a small piece of lint on her sweater.

He let out a rush of breath. "We'll never understand it. They'll always be one step ahead of us, always ready to undermine us." He tapped the windowsill with one fingernail. "Let's look at something else." He lay one hand on her shoulder, long fingers splayed. She allowed him to lead her gently back to their desks.

Quickly shoving the pictures in the file, Alex concentrated on the warmth Bobby's hand had left on her shoulder. God, those hands. She lightly ran her finger over the spot, which seemed to be pulsing.

"Hey, Alex," Bobby said, his voice lower than usual. Goosebumps pricked her arms. "Do you have a blue highlighter?"

"Blue?" she asked. He nodded. She searched through the drawer that held all her writing utensils. "Does it have to be blue?" she asked, not finding one.

"Yes," he said, smiling apologetically. The flash of white teeth again. "I'm going through a victim's diary, and I'm working on…"

"The dirty parts?" she asked, grinning.

He held out his hand, palm up, fingers extended to their full length. "Just give me a damn highlighter," he said. It was then she noticed he had rolled his sleeves up to his elbows, revealing sinewy forearms.

She picked a green highlighter out of the drawer and handed it to him. As he closed his fingers over it, he caught Alex's smaller ones in his grip. Not noticing at all, he pried off the cap and turned his attention to the small notebook. The smell of highlighter drifted across to her desk, giving her a slight headache, but it wasn't nearly intoxicating as Bobby's fingers on hers. She glanced up to see Bobby almost unconsciously running his fingers through his beautiful, curly salt-and-pepper hair. Another thing that caused her heart to stop: his hair. It started dark at the top, then curled softly around the tips of his ears in a shade of silver that rivaled the necklace she bought last month at Tiffany's. Any doubts she had about gray being sexy disappeared at the mere sight of that perfect mane. She bet it was soft as a puppy's belly, like the gentle caress of–

"Eames!"

Jolted out of her dream state, she looked up to see Bobby staring at her with a confused look on his face. Dear Lord, the eyebrows, the furrowed brow…

"What are you doing?" he asked.

What _had _she been doing? _Please don't let it be something embarrassing._

"You're making lines all over your notes."

She looked down and say that she had drawn lines back and forth over her very detailed notes, making the motion of running her hands through his hair. "Uh…" What could she say? I was dreaming about your hair? The thought was laughable.

Bobby raised his eyebrows, straightened his tie and went back to painting the diary green.

Alex was very fond of Bobby's ties (he had an uncanny ability to pick out the perfect tie for every outfit) but she was fonder of the times he wasn't wearing one. Once in a while, he opened the top button of his shirt to reveal an extra, tantalizing bit of creamy flesh that was normally hidden. Those were the times when she had to fight for control. She could never forget the memory of him interrogating the creep who had killed a woman, then hid her body in his accomplice's mother's basement. Heat rose in her face as she remembered him leaning close to the man as he interrogated him; the rise and fall of his voice and his oh-so-expressive, finely arched eyebrows causing her to grip hear seat with both hands to control herself. If there ever was, this was a man who could make you spill with one gentle raise of an eyebrow.

"Bathroom break," she said, getting up from her desk. Bobby only nodded slightly, his eyelashes fluttering.

Letting the bathroom door swing shut behind her, she leaned against the wall and pressed the heels of her hands to her eyes.

_Bobby, Bobby! _She thought. _Why do you always have to look so impeccably handsome?_ She almost couldn't bear him in his neat shirts and pants, matching tie lying straight down the middle of his chest, tie clip in perfect place. But them she remembered him in his casuals. The jeans, the black t-shirt, the brown leather jacket. Or white shirt under a green jacket. Seeing him in those jeans sent shivers down her spine. They fit in all the right places, accentuating his well rounded–

At that moment, someone burst into the bathroom, causing the door to hit the wall.

"Oh, hey, Vivian," said Alex, seeing her friend lean against the wall next to her, smiling from ear to ear.

"Hey, Alex," said Vivian, her breath catching in her throat.

"What's gotten into you?" Alex asked, almost not wanting to know.

"Your partner," said Vivian, laughing at her own joke.

Alex felt a pang of jealousy, though she knew Bobby and Vivian weren't dating (Bobby barely knew who Vivian was). _Must have passed her a sugar packet for her coffee._ Ale thought, knowing Vivian could get all swoony if a man such as Bobby Goren so much as handed her a Styrofoam cup.

"So, what? Did he kiss you? Embrace you? Pass your desk?" Alex asked mock-seriously.

Vivian paused, apparently for dramatic effect. "He looked at me," she whispered.

Alex couldn't blame her for almost losing control when Bobby's eyes met hers. It had happened to her more times than she could count. When those chocolate browns locked in on you, there was no turning back. The intensity of his gaze was enough to set her heart on fire.

"The second our eyes met I almost ripped his shirt off and–" Vivian began giddily.

"Sorry, Vivian," Alex interrupted. Either she was in the bathroom listening to Vivian swoon over Bobby, or out at her desk staring at the man himself. "Got a lot of cases to look at. I'm gonna…" She trailed off and opened the door.

"I'd like to get a look at–"began Vivian, but Alex rolled her eyes and let the door swing shut.

Bobby looked up and set the diary down as she got to her desk. "Wanna get lunch?" he asked.

"Sure," Alex responded. She had completely forgotten that she needed to eat. "Caspari's?" she asked, naming their favorite diner.

He nodded, scratching the back of his neck and grabbing his coat. Alex grabbed hers and put it on.

"Is that suede?" Bobby asked, running his fingers lightly over her coat.

"Why yes, it is," she smiled, as she noticed Vivian walking by, a look of pure jealously on her face.

"Here are the keys," said Bobby. He placed the keys in her hand and entwined his fingers with hers for a millisecond. Vivian looked like she was about to pop an artery. Alex winked at her.

"Come on, my sweet Alex. Lunch time," Bobby said like a true gentleman, placing one hand on the small of her back.

Or maybe she was glad she was a woman.

END

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Note from SuperCellist: I know, it's been years since I last published. My brain just stopped working after my last story, and didn't start again until a few days ago. And yes, this isn't my regular SVU story, but, as you can tell from the story, I am so in love with Vincent D'Onofrio. Please feel free to leave constructive criticism or whatever. I'm a little rusty from not writing for so long.


	2. Poem for Bobby

Author's Note: I decided that instead of a regular story, I would write a poem. This kind is called a villanelle. The rhyme scheme is very complicated, so I won't explain it here. I have a sonnet from Bobby to Alex written, but I don't know if it works yet.

Enjoy.

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**From Alex to Bobby**

From his size 13 past his big hands

Where shall we begin?

That's one deadly handsome man

--

That body is a land of wonder

Saying this gives me no chagrin

From his size 13 past his big hands

--

Every day for him I hunger

Warming in the face of his shy grin

That's one deadly handsome man

--

Leaving him my heart would be torn asunder

His velvet voice speaks over the din

From his size 13 past his big hands

--

Perfect in looks, older or younger

Perfect is even his tie pin

That's one deadly handsome man

--

His mind I also would love to plunder

To lay sweet kisses on his chin

From his size 13 past his big hands

That's one deadly handsome man

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Another note: There are supposed to be five sets of three lines and one set of four lines, but it won't let me put spaces in between (thus the dashes)! Arrrgggg! Anyway, review!


	3. Sonnet for Alex

Author's Note: So I decided to use the sonnet. Enjoy.

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**From Bobby to Alex**

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This is not a usual poem of love,

Never been good past a kiss.

Did not have an angel come down from above,

And inspire me with this.

This is a new kind of love like no other,

It defies those clichés old.

Knew I could never belong to another,

To always have you to hold.

So listen to me, the darling of my heart,

Your wishes are my commands.

I live for your sweet love, shall we never part,

You hold my heart in your hands.

My question, as honest as I shall ever be:

Alex, will you marry me?


	4. Alex Contemplates

Author's Note: Sorry this took so long, but I kept thinking it sucked somehow, and I couldn't figure out how to edit it. But I'm really excited to publish the next chapter, so I have to get this one out of the way first. Have a good read.

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"Alex, you know I don't like mean jokes. Especially mean jokes like this."

Alex Eames had already prepared herself for this, before picking up the phone and dialing her mother's number.

"Mom, please. I'm not joking. Do you really think this is the kind of thing I'd joke about?"

She heard her mother sigh, a touch of readiness in that breath.

"So Bobby, Detective Robert Goren, asked you to marry him."

Alex smiled. "Yes, Mom. And it was the most romantic, beautiful, heart-wrenching proposal in the world."

She was flooded with the image of that last line: "Alex, will you marry me?" deliberately placed on the paper in Bobby's most careful calligraphy. He had left the sonnet on her desk late at night after he had gone home, knowing the next day was their day off, knowing she wasn't one to jump into her lover's arms right after he popped the question. She needed time to think. How considerate Bobby was, topping off handsome and intelligent!

"Alex, have you answered him yet?" her mother broke the silence Alex didn't realize she'd created. Her heart twinged.

"No. Not yet," she said, the tone of her voice conveying that this was a careful thought.

"Honey…" her mother began, but Alex cut her off.

"Mom, did you wonder why he left the poem on my desk before leaving? Why he didn't wait around for me to read it? He _understands_ me, he _knows_ me, Mom. He's giving me my space. He knows I don't jump before looking."

She could imagine her mother smiling a little. Her mother knew what Bobby was like, having met him a few times. Alex knew she was just being a mother, watching over her daughter.

"Why aren't you talking to Vivian? Isn't she your best friend?" her mother questioned.

"You're my mother. How could I talk to anyone else about this? And besides, Vivian isn't talking to me right now. You know, she's overly enamored with Bobby, so you can guess why she's mad."

"Well, what woman wouldn't be? He _is_ drop dead gorgeous…"

"Mom, come on! You're such an old geezer," Alex joked.

"Thanks, Alex," returned her mother, the smile in her voice detectable. "Good to know I have a supportive daughter." She paused a few seconds, let the joke close itself up, and then continued in a gentle voice. "But seriously, honey, I want to talk to you. I'm going to give you the 'mommy speech,' and I want you to listen. Don't just hear, listen."

Alex sat down in her favorite chair. She was perfectly ready for this; her mother had done it when Alex had decided she wanted to join the NYPD.

"This is one of the hardest decisions you will ever make: who are you going to spend the rest of your life with? I know you, Alex; you're a hard one. You have a difficult time letting someone in after all you've seen on the streets of New York City. But I think you're ready to open your heart to the right man. And I also think you've found him. You've found Robert Goren.

"I've seen the way you work together. I've seen the way he looks at you. He only sees you, Alex. For lack of a better phrase, you're his world. I've talked to him. You know what he told me? 'It seems like she's only an extension of me, like she was a part of my soul that got lost and found its way back. If she asked me to wait for two lifetimes, I would do it unquestioningly, just to be near her.' Have you ever heard 'I am my beloved's, and my beloved is mine'? That's you two.

"But I also want you to remember that this will alter your life. You have to think about how you're going to work together now. Not just on the job, but also in life together. How are you going to put food on the table? When will you want to buy a house? What about children? Be ready for anything life throws at you, because it's going to shoot a lot of curveballs.

"Finally, I hope that you know, deep down in your heart, that you love this man Robert Goren. I hope you blush every time he compliments you. I hope your heart beats faster every time he looks at you. I hope you never doubt his honesty when he says, 'I love you.' And most of all, I hope you never doubt your own honesty in loving him. Your heart is your guide."

A tear dripped down Alex's cheek. So much love for her mother swelled up in her that she didn't think she could hold it all. She almost couldn't believe how lucky she was, to have two people she loved so much she needed two bodies to contain it. Then something fell into place, and she dried the tear and stood up.

"I'm sorry, Mom, but I have to go," she said. "I'll call you later, all right?"

"Okay, honey. Call me whenever you like." Alex didn't detect the faint smile this time.

Alex quickly hung up. She stood there, staring at the coffee table for a few seconds, then grabbed two objects off of it.

Her mother, on the other hand, slowly placed the phone back in its cradle, thinking out loud.

"I wonder if Vivian will be invited to the wedding."

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Another Note: Is it good? This chapter really annoyed me. It didn't want to be edited. The next one's a lot better, I promise. And Vivian has made another appearance (kind of). As always, I love your reviews!


	5. Bobby Waits for Alex's Answer

Author's Note: Finally, chapter 5! So far, I think this is my favorite chapter (besides the first one, of course). Have a happy read.

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"Wow, did I really do that?" Detective Robert Goren asked himself for the gazillionth time that day.

He was still amazed at himself. Had he really asked his partner, his best friend, to spend the rest of her life with him in wedded bliss? He almost couldn't believe it.

He had always been shy, a little awkward. In his younger years, being so brilliant and a bit odd had not given him many friends, so he learned to keep to, and only count on, himself. As he got older, being single and the epitome of the tall, dark, and handsome stranger fortune tellers were so fond of describing bestowed upon him many dateable women (women like Alex's friend Vivian who, after somehow finding out he was proposing to Alex, had appeared at his door one night, and had begged him, "Marry me, Bobby! I love you! Marry me!"), but none who gave him the respect and love (not lust) he so wanted. None, that is, until Alexandra Eames.

If someone had told him during those first few weeks of being partners that he would end up falling head over heels in love with her, and proposing marriage, he would have had a good laugh. Sure, he had found her attractive then (no sense in denying it), but she seemed, as so many of his girlfriends past had, to find him a bit too intelligent and eccentric for his taste (though later, she did tell him he was an "acquired taste").

He couldn't remember when things had started to change. Maybe it was around the time that Alex had been a surrogate for her sister. Did he realize then, when she was gone and "replaced" (for a bit) with someone else, that he needed her? That she was the best thing that had ever happened to him? Or maybe it was during the Nicole Wallace debacle. She reached out to him, she wanted to help him; he could see the pain in her eyes. She hadn't given up on him.

_A good sign, possibly? _He thought to himself. _That I can't remember when I fell in love with her, that it feels like I've loved her forever?_

Maybe he _had_ loved her forever. He would never admit it to anyone, but he believed in soul mates. He guessed Alex was a half of his soul that had broken off at the beginning of life and that both of them were trying to find each other again. It made complete sense to him. He had never told Alex this, though. He was a bit afraid she would laugh: the great intellectual Bobby Goren, waxing spiritual! But he couldn't help it, the explanation was perfect!

Running a hand through the panther-colored curls that graced his head, he sat roughly down on the couch. _This has got to be the longest day of my life, _he thought, sighing. _Maybe I should have waited around while she read the sonnet. _But he knew he had done it the right way, the only way. She probably would have freaked if he had kept all six feet four inches of himself there. _Oh my God, _the nervous, harried thoughts going haywire, _what if she says no? I'll never be able to work with her! She'll get a restraining order against me because I'll keep asking her! She can't say no! She can't say no!_

He tapped his long fingers on his knee. _Damn it!_ He thought, a bit scared. Quickly untangling his legs from each other, he almost jumped off the couch and started pacing. _I will not call her. I will not call her._ He was glad no one was here to see the normally perfectly collected detective reduced to a puddle because of Alexandra Eames. He checked his watch: 8:15 pm. It was already starting to get dark outside. Alex was taking much longer than he, who knew her so well, had expected. But what if she didn't respond at all? What if…

_Shut up, Goren!_ He told himself. _She is going to respond! _He remembered that moment, a few nights ago, when he had made up his mind to ask her to marry him. They were laying on his bed, curled in each other's arms, quietly enjoying the others proximity. Alex had snuggled closer to his broad chest and let out a warm whisper, "I want to be here forever." _As you wish, _he'd thought, and smiled. His heart rate returned to normal and his scrambling thoughts moved at a more sluggish pace as he remembered that night. He remembered her lips on the thick tendons of his neck (the neck she never missed a chance to call "nibble-able"), his hands on…

The opening and closing of his mail slot startled him from his reverie. A bit confused, he ambled to the door to find a large white envelope with "For Bobby" written on it on the floor. _That's it, _he thought, realizing what he was looking at. He took a deep breath and, with slightly shaking hands, tore open his fate.

It was a sonnet, just like the one had had left her. It was not as carefully printed as his had been, but he thought it was the most beautiful handwriting he had ever seen. He sat down, steadying his hands, and began to read.

--

I never expected this day to come,

Didn't think you'd get down on your knee.

So I was ultimately struck dumb,

At the time you proposed to me.

You know me well; you've given me space,

Our years of friendship have taught you that.

You know I would never proceed in haste,

Never would answer right off the bat.

Even though I have done this once before,

With you this decision is not tough.

Only because I love you so much more,

Just being partners is not enough.

Here is my choice, to the one I love best,

The answer to your question is, "Yes!"

--

Yes.

That last word resounded through his astonished brain. _She said…she's…she's going to be my…my wife. _An enormous smile spread over his face at that last bit. His joy was too much to handle. Striding quickly, he opened his door.

Alexandra Eames sat on the porch steps, facing the street. Apparently she hadn't heard the door open, so he was able to study her for a bit. She looked somewhat tense. Her small fingers tapped her knee like his had done in his nervousness. The moonlight made her glow and intense love bubbled up inside him.

"Alex," he said softly, but just loud enough for her to hear him. She jumped a little and turned around.

She took in his huge, graceful frame, the boyish smile on his face, and the love in his brown eyes and was once again reminded why she had fallen in love with him and had ultimately agreed to grow old with him.

"Bobby," she said just as softly. Neither moved.

"You said yes," he said, with pure wonder. She smiled a little and nodded. Suddenly he strode across the porch and gathered her up in his arms. "You said yes," he whispered again, into her hair. "Tell me again."

She smiled. "Yes," she said, her warm breath caressing his skin. "Yes, Bobby Goren, I will marry you." Bobby could not stop a wide smile as he buried his face in Alex's hair.

"As you wish," he whispered. "As you wish."

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Note: Yay, they're getting married! Haven't written the next chapter yet; I'm still trying to figure out if it's going to be a wedding scene or something leading up to that. And I want your reviews!


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